Posted in Relationship Talks

What Our 11 Months of Marriage Taught Me.

…marriage is about becoming a team. You’re going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then, things blow up. But the beauty of marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you always figure out a way to get through it. ~ Nicholas Sparks

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I woke up into hubby’s warm hug this morning as he greeted me a “happy 11 months of marriage“. Time has gone way too fast. It was like I decided to marry this man yesterday and yet, we’ll already be celebrating our first wedding anniversary next month. 🙂

Before that big day, here’s what my 11 months of marriage has taught me so far:

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  • It’s okay to re-watch your wedding videos for the nth time. 😛

    Like, common. It was one of the biggest days of our life. There’s nothing wrong with not getting over our vows and keep playing it or even decide to use it as my phone’s ringtone. 😀 Here’s the catch: everytime we fight, I watch it again. It reminds me of that day when we vowed to be together through thick or thin. And even reminds me why I married him on the first place.

  • Check the “married” spot when filling up a form.

    Believe it or not, it took me three months to avoid checking the “single” box in the civil status of a form. And yeah, my 11 months of marriage taught me to choose the correct box and not ask for another form because I made a mistake. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

  • Share responsibilities.

    Whether I like it or not, I have to do the laundry while he is doing the house-cleaning. 😀 I learned to not wait for my mom’s nag to do this and that. It makes the whole work easier and faster when the chores are shared. Well, I guess, having a husband who is willing to help is a bonus.

  • Be the first to apologize.

    Being the first to say “sorry” during an argument or a fight does not make me the loser. Sometimes, it’s a pain on my ego but I’d rather hurt it than prolong the fight which is more painful. Then I realized, saying that “S” word is not that bad at all especially if you’re doing it for your relationship.

  • Not to complain about his cooking.

    One of the most important thing I’ve learned is to NEVER complain about his cooking, especially if I don’t know how to do it myself. I have to choose between starving or eating his “okay” recipe. 😀

  • We don’t have to like the same things.

    At first my perception of a successful marriage is to agree with same things. But our 11 months of marriage slapped me on my face and made me realize that I was wrong. During our first two months, we noticed that we disagree with most things which does not happen often when we were not married yet. Along the way, we learned to adjust and respect each other’s choices and meet half-way although most of the time he gives in to mine.

  • Finances is a sensitive issue.

    Most couple arguments are because of the finances, especially if you have kid(s). Ace and I don’t have one yet, but we already have our fair share of argument on this issue. I want to spend more on traveling while he wants to save more for our future. During the first six months, we had a hard time resolving this matter but eventually, we were able to meet on a common point. Because we are both earning, his income would go to the house bills and savings while mine would be for the food and travels. In that way, we were able to avoid fights about financial matters.

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It’s still a long way to go. We have yet to celebrate our first year of marriage. There’s no telling as to what would happen but all we have is the HOPE that our vows will work and that this road we are walking right now leads to FOREVER. ❤ ❤ ❤

Cheers to another month!

I’m living you with this wonderful find from Google.

Marriage Box.

Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for: companionship, intimacy, friendship, etc. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.

“til next time.

Keep safe!

Love, Ace and Demi

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Posted in Relationship Talks

Our Second Month. | Relationship Talks

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Today marks our second month of being married. A friend from far away sent us her greetings early this morning and asked something which inspired me to write this post.
Her question: Is your marriage everything you hoped it would be, so far?

I could have said ‘yes‘ but that would be a lie. Our marriage is not everything we thought it would be. I hoped it would be perfect, but we know there is no such thing as perfect marriage. I hoped it would all be just happiness, but that is impossible.

Marriage is not something you can filter like what you see on Instagram and Facebook.

In two months, we had our own share of misunderstandings. We’ve been through ups and downs, too. It’s not always those #sweetness overloads that you see on social media, we had our dark days, too. Do we fight? Yes, we do. We fight over little things — from where and what to eat, what TV channel to watch, to who used up all the lives in my Candy Crush. In the end of the day, before we go to sleep… we just find ourselves laughing about our petty fights. But you see, that is what makes US happy. That is what makes us stronger and love each other more.

Marriage is an adventure. It is not every day a well-paved road. There are bumpy roads. It is not every day a sunny one. There are storms you have to face. But as long as you have each other, as long as you are both willing to take risks, you can surpass them. There is no mountain too high and no ocean too deep for two people who hold hand and conquer them together.

Perhaps it’s too early to tell how our life have been as a couple. Some people said the first year is of course sweet and a happy one. And we have to wait until the fifth year before we conclude how strong our love is. My response would be… “I’m ready for that. I’ll see you on that day!” 😀

Posted in Burp! Eat, Drink and Fun!, Relationship Talks

On Loving and Eating — Manggahan Bar and Grill

Nothing — not a conversation, not a hug or even a kiss– establishes relationship so forcefully as eating together. 🙂 

Time flies so fast. As cliche as it sound, but that’s definitely a fact.

Last Saturday, we celebrated our first month of being happily married. Which we are very grateful and we thought it caused a celebration. 🙂

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We went to my hometown where my grandfather cooked saba or cardava banana dipped in spicy fish sauce with calamansi, and fresh buko (coconut). We arrived home late so we didn’t have time to go on a private dinner. (Anyway, I think visiting my hometown was already a celebration.)

So, we decided to do have a post celebration yesterday. Ace went to work, so we agreed to meet at his office around 5:00pm. As usual, I was 10 minutes late. (LOL, sorry.) Our plan was to go to DuzzGrill  where we had our first date. However, they don’t open on weekends. But no worry tummy, my good husband has a backup plan.

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Manggahan Bar and Grill

Manggahan, in Filipino means Mango Farm. 🙂 So you know the first thing I looked for was the mango trees, where are they? But no, I didn’t find one (just yet). When we went inside, we were greeted by their friendly crew with that smile glued on their faces. I was well, a little bit impressed when Ace opened the back door showing me the big mango tree I was looking for. (Hahah) It’s big, but only one, lol. Anyway, they have dining tables inside and outside if you want al fresco dining. We chose to sit outside which is more private.

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Menu

They gave us the menu which was in Visayan (our region’s vernacular). The price are very reasonable. They offer exotic dishes like crocodile sisig, fried frog, fried mud fish and many more. But no we did not order those.

Here’s our order.

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Kinamot nga Pasayan, Spicy Sizzling Squid and Pochero Soup.

Kinamot nga Pasayan (Fingered Shrimp) is fried shrimp simmered in a special sauce with plenty of chili. Sizzling Spicy Squid is  flour-coated squid, fried with spices. And of course, Pochero soup is a bone-marrow soup with beef. 🙂

Burp, burp, burp!!! Tummies were full. ❤

Verdict: Their food is sooo yummy that until now my mouth is still watering. Prices are very reasonable to their serving. Place is very cozy and perfect for a date or family dining, too. I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t be my only visit. 🙂 5 stars, yey!!!

Address30 Wilson St., Apas, Lahug, 6000 Cebu City, Philippines

Facebook page:
www.facebook.com/manggahancebu

 

‘Til our next food trip, see yah! 🙂

P.S   The quote above is derived from Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Nothing — not a conversation, not a handshake or even a hug – establishes friendship so forcefully as eating together”.

Posted in HOLIDAYS and Special days, Relationship Talks

Love Sealed Forever. (Our Journey Together.)

“Destiny brought us together. Now, our love will seal our bond forever.”

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Sealed.

Last June 16 – exactly two weeks ago, Ace and I decided to start a new journey together.

We had our civil wedding ceremony held at Mandaue City Hall in the Mayor’s office. We were not able to have our wedding in the church because we ran out of time to comply all the requirements. (Obviously, church wedding takes time.) We were told to postpone it, which we thought a bad sign (that’s what we believe). So, we agreed… no matter what happens, we would be wed on the said date. Hence, the civil ceremony.

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Our pledge to hold on to each other through thick and thin.

We were both surprised as to how fast the ceremony was. Just imagine, it did not take more than 4 minutes. Whoah! (Well, not one of us had attended a civil wedding before.)

Actually, it was similar to the church ceremony minus the Holy Mass or religious service. There was no bible, no veils, no cord, no candles. All we have was the arrhae and the wedding rings.

Here’s Ace putting on the ring for me.

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The ring as a symbol of our love and loyalty to each other.

After putting on the ring and giving the arrhae, the solemnizing officer who was the city mayor by the way, gave his message and final blessing to us. And tada…! It’s done.

So here we’re signing our marriage contract and pledge to love each other in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer and ’til death do us part.

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Ace signing the contract.
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Me signing the contract.

And then, photo with the city mayor.

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The city mayor and the newly married couple.

If I was not mistaken, I think we stayed in the Mayor’s office for only 15 minutes. And off we went to the restaurant for lunch.

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The rustic theme of the restaurant.

We didn’t have a big and luxurious reception since aside from the three witnesses, we only had our family and few close friends with us. We just had lunch with them at the newly opened Neo-Neo’s Grill Restaurant. We chose it because not only they serve Filipino food, they have this rustic theme and private room for occasions like this.

Guess, we were all hungry. Look!

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Couple, parents and witnesses’ table.
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Friends’ table.

After lunch, Ace and I had a karaoke party treat from his friends. After all of those, the two of us went to church.

Forever is a long time, but we wouldn’t mind spending it side by side. ❤

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Sealed.

This wedding was not the fairy tale one which I dreamed when I was younger. There was no beautiful gown, no red isle, no flowers around… but on the day when I said ‘I do’, was one of the happiest and fulfilling day of my life. I couldn’t be more happier. Because I am certain that I’d be happy for the rest of my life with him.

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P.S… This post goes to my family and friends who were very supportive to us. Special credits to Abby and Louise who did my hair, and to Kim for my beautiful dress. You guys are super!

 

P.P.S I would not end this post without showing you guys our DIY invitation card and tokens. Ace and I made it ourselves. 🙂

 

See you on our church wedding… (not too long…) :* Keep safe!

Posted in My Thoughts!, Relationship Talks

A Letter to Myself Before My Wedding Day.

Dearest self, 

                     Hey! So, you’re getting married next day. I wanted to ask if you’re ready for that but you’re obviously readier than the word ready. 🙂 I’m so happy for you. And if you are excited, I think I’m more than excited. 

                     Who thought it would be Ace? He must be very lucky. See, you’ve been to different places, who thought you’d only find him on a dating site? Oh, I know you’re smiling while remembering that first day when you responded to that ‘hi‘ on Tagged. hahah 😀 I can still feel those butterflies, too. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you still feeling that after two years. After all, you are in love. 

                     Anyway, I trust Ace for you. I know you’ll be in good hands. I’m sure you’re aware that marriage life is not always sunshine…so learn to share each other’s umbrella and surpass the storm together. I can see on his eyes that he will take care of you, and you should take care of him in return. I know you’re a spoiled brat, but I think Ace could handle that. Just not too much, please. 🙂 

                     After your wedding, your individual differences will eventually show up. I hope you’re ready for that. Hold on, and talk about it. Don’t allow him to change you, at the same time, don’t try to change him. Accept his flaws and I’m sure he would do the same. I know how high is your pride, please learn to swallow it when it comes to your life together. You are one, so work as one. 

                      You are not just a wife, but his partner, too. Understand him and be patient. Support his decision because he is your husband. Love his family like he loves yours. Don’t forget to tell him ‘Iloveyou‘ everyday. Don’t get mad when he forgets your anniversary (hmmm), remind him if that happens. 

                       One more thing, don’t worry if you can’t bear a baby…Ace loves you more than that. Don’t think you can’t be a family without an offspring. By the time you say ‘I do!’, you two became a family. Spend your life together. Dedicate your life in lending a hand to those who need most. Be happy and contented with each other. You two are a family.

                        I’m really happy for you, dearie. I pray all the best for both of you. Congratulations! Give my best regards to him. 

 

Love, 

Your beautiful self.

 

P.S Please, love yourself, too. I want to see that same sparkle on your eyes after 50 years. Take care. 

Posted in Good Vibes!, Relationship Talks

What We Learned.

“One day, your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching.”

 

Happy Friday, everyone! 🙂

I couldn’t find the person behind that wonderful quote above. But I love it! I hope you feel the same way, too.

Anyway, this week has been a very busy one for me and Ace. We’ve got so much to do but seems like we couldn’t get anything done. (facepalm)

There’s one thing we learned in the middle of all this fuss though. We realized that preparing for a wedding is not easy. No. Yeah, it’s true. But that’s not what I mean. 🙂 We learned to hold on to each other more tightly. We disagree with some details but we’re able to fix it and not argue about it. It’s like we are tested on how prepared we are to start a new life together. And I’m proud to say, we passed it.

But marriage is a lifetime journey. We’ll be crossing many valleys and streams along the way. There will be quakes and floods, and tremendous disasters. But we are confident in each other.  🙂  Our love is stronger than any wind and shakes. It is greater than the valleys and streams. It will see us through.

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Ace and I at Osmeña Peak

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Relationship Talks

Magical Mystery Ride – (Part 3: Never Again.)

Hello, everyone!

To those who have been following our Magical Mystery Ride story, here is the part three. 🙂 I’m so sorry for the delay… the making is so slow. And for those who want to catch up, you can read the Part 1 here, and the Part 2 here.

Once again, this is a love story…proceed with caution. 🙂

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It’s a beautiful day and must be one of the finest days of April so far. We just came back from a day-off.

Yesterday was not very different, we just stayed home and watched movie together the whole day. What made it a great, was that we get the chance to spend some quality time and talk about “us and our relationship” in the middle of this whole wedding preparation. With only two months left, we couldn’t help but feel excited.

But I must admit, though we already talked about our certainty of doing this vow before we got engaged, there was this fear inside me. I was afraid our marriage would fail like my parent’s…

Yeah, I hear you. I knew relationships are not the same. But can you blame me if I felt that way?

I grew up seeing how my parents loved each other very much, like their love is forever. I grew up proud of having the most wonderful family. I can still remember, bragging to my classmates that I have the perfect family. My parents — they were inlove to each other then. There was never a hint of that ‘perfect family’ coming apart. But it happened. 😥 One day, the house that was so full of laughter and joy suddenly became like a strange haven. Loud arguments replaced the sound of laughter. The living room became my dad’s bedroom for a while. Gone were the days when we go to church together as a whole family. And eventually, my parent’s marriage didn’t work out anymore. They separated. 

I was left comforting my younger sisters and brother, making them understand what was going on. I was left with no choice but be strong for them because they were too young to feel the pain brought by my parent’s decision. All those time of pretending to be strong, I had hoped they will find each other again and give it another try, but 5 years passed and it didn’t happen. I lost the hope, and started to move one. 

I tried to believe that there is forever in love. But, I myself had my own share of pain because of loving someone. It reminded me that love was not forever, that people would be in love but it wouldn’t last. 

Until you came…. You make me feel special, loved, cared and treasured. You make me want to believe in forever again. You make me want to give love a chance to show me that it is evergreen.

So yesterday, we talked about the wedding, the vow, the promise of being together. I told you about my fear. But once again, you gave me the assurance of staying. You made your parents an example that forever is possible. You made me realize that relationships are not the same. It didn’t work with my parent’s but it worked with yours. And I want to believe that we could make it work, too.

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Ace and I

I trust you, I trust you my heart. And I’m ready for the vow. You are not the man in my dreams, nor I am the woman in yours. But we learn to accept the flaws in us, and see the good in each other. I believe our love is stronger than those dreams. Let’s make the future together. If forever is not possible for now, let’s make it possible then.

 

–To Be Continued!–