As promised…a post about her. 🙂
Everyone, meet Bon-Bon.
Born Devonne Jane, but I fondly call her Bon-Bon. She was my daughter. How that it happen? Why “was”?
I was 19-year old when I had her. Just landed a job in BPO industry, and she came into my life. Having her at an early age was never easy.
But she is a blessing, a wonderful blessing to me. She made my days shine, she took away my stress after work. She was the reason why I stayed in the industry for two years. I was very happy. I didn’t have regrets. I worked hard to give her a good life, for her future.
My family was fond of her. They love her. They accepted her. My mom helped me take care of her. I saw her first step, heard her first word…she was my everything.
She grows a sweet, smart girl. She is curious, she asks a lot to the point that would annoy you. She will say what she wants to say because I taught her to.
She can be naughty at times, but she listens when you tell her what’s good or bad. I know her well. I know that she likes fish and she likes the color yellow. She was mine, she grew up with me.
Having her taken away from me was heartbreaking. I didn’t want to let her go, but it’s for her own good. I cried so many nights. But there was nothing I could do.
My cousin got pregnant when she was 18. She did not have a job, her boyfriend neither. She needed help. I had my job. I wasn’t the breadwinner because dad worked overseas that time. I had money and can support a child. I agreed to support the baby’s milk and other necessities. But my cousin got sick. Afraid that the baby would be infected, she had no choice but to give me the baby.
Bon-bon was 7-month old when she was given to me. I knew my cousin will have no choice if I wanted to legally adopt her, but I didn’t want to do that. After all, she is my cousin and needed help. I didn’t want to take advantage of their situation and be selfish. So Bon-Bon stayed with me. Mom took care of her when I was at work. I was very inspired to go to work and always excited to return home. I gave her everything. My world revolved around her. I became a mom, must had been a wonderful mom to her, so I thought.
She turned two when my cousin decided to take her back. She already found a job.
This was the time when I felt regret. Regret that I did not took advantage her situation before. Regret that I did not do the adoption legally. Regret that I was too careless and did not see it coming. Regret that I loved Bon-Bon deeply when I knew this time will come. 😥
It took me a while when I finally let her go. I made sure she will be taken care of and be given the same love I gave or more. It was hard! Really hard! But I didn’t have a choice. She was not mine, not even from the start.
Bon-Bon is three now. I couldn’t believe it’s been a year since she was back to her biological family. I still get to see her every time I go to my hometown. It’s also good to know that she always looks for me until now. Her mom sometimes call me because Bon-Bon will not sleep and wants to talk to me.
I’m happy to see her growing up. She will be going to school this June. I’m very excited. She is smart. I believe, good future awaits her.
She may be not with me anymore, but she will always be my baby. 🙂
P.S I noticed, Bon-Bon’s wearing the same skirt this year’s Sinulog and last 2014’s. 😀 Here’s 2014’s Sinulog Festival with her.
’til next post. 🙂 Keep safe, everyone!
Thought Diary 