You Are Your Own Hero.

I know things had been hard but look at you. You’re so much happier, so much stronger. You’re beautiful than ever.

Those dark days honed you well.

Thank you for choosing to breathe when your mind tried to strangle you. Thank you for fighting back when the world tore you up. Thank you for not giving up when you started losing parts of you. And most of all, thank you for patiently putting the pieces of yourself together.

You are a strong soul. And I’m so proud of you.

You were not afraid to admit your vulnerability. You accepted your brokenness. You put aside your pride and allow some people to help. You were so brave to let yourself heal.

I’m happy that you believed. You believed that you would be whole again. You believed that the wound will heal. You believed that you can save yourself.

You are your own hero. 

And I hope, you will always remember to play that role for yourself.

I’m rooting for you.

 

Love, Emz

 

An Open Letter to My Troubled Soul.

I want to start with a “Congratulations! You’re doing great!” 

Congratulations, because you’re doing the right thing. Congratulations, because you’re putting down that blade and throwing away those pills. Congratulations, because you’re learning to refuse those tiny voices. Congratulations, because you’re breaking your walls and starting to accept their help.

Congratulations, because you’re doing better.

I just want you to know that I’m so proud of you.

I’m so proud of you because you recognize your weakness. I’m so proud of you because you are brave to show your vulnerability. I’m so proud of you because you don’t let fear consume you. I’m so proud of you because you continue to fight even when some people don’t understand. I’m so proud of you because you are not giving up.

Promise me that you will continue to be better. Promise me that you will continue to be strong. Promise me that you will continue to fight. Promise me that you will no longer go back to that dark alley. Promise me that you will not hate yourself instead you will love it more.

I promise to be with you as you fight this battle. I promise to be strong while you beat those demons. I promise to let you cry when it hurts so much but I will wipe your tears when you’ve cried enough. I promise to pat your shoulders when you do a good job. Most of all, I promise to not give up on you.

Please remember this:

“God brought you it. He will bring you through it.”

 

I’m excited to see you WIN this fight. I know you’ll get through this.

Love,

Your Hopeful Self

 

 

This Is Me Missing My Bestfriend.

“If you’re alone, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I’ll just be me.”

We used to say those promises.

You were my best friend. We used to be. I don’t know what happened but those days were gone. Suddenly gone. We were happy, but one day I woke up not hearing from you anymore. There were no goodbyes, there were no ados.

So, I’ve finally heard something from you. It’s been a while. Years, I guess. I’m so glad to see you again. The last time we met was not very fine, or so I thought.

How are you? How’s life?

Well, you look happy. I see you’ve got married and now have two kids. The second one looks very similar to you, he got your beautiful eyes. Look how time had gone so fast. I didn’t know you’re marrying the same girl you told me you were having problems with. But I’m happy. The last time you told me about your problem with her, I felt your pain but I saw love in your eyes. I knew you love her so much but you didn’t want to tell me.

I knew it from the start. But I waited for you to admit it. Until we parted ways.

Have you heard something about me, too? Do you occasionally check my facebook profile to see how I’ve been? Because I do and I won’t deny it.

You know what? I’m happily married now. No, it was not the same boy you I told you about. His name is Ace. I hope you could meet him someday. I’m pretty sure you’ll like him.

I can’t wait to talk to you again. I can’t wait to tell you how my life have been. I can’t wait to listen to your stories about your adorable kids. I want to know how happy you are with your wife. I’m excited to tell you how supportive and loving my husband is. I want to tell you that I was wrong when I told you I won’t love another man more than you. I want you to know that we were really meant to be just bestfriends because I love Ace more than I loved you.

There are so many things I want to say, so many things I want to hear from you.

But when?

I miss you.

Digressing | The Post You Should Not Read

Howdy! 

Been a long while since I last posted. Life gets on my way and it’s out of my control. I have an article drafted for one month but I can’t seem to finish it. (Sigh!)

What am I doing right now?

Just letting these fingers move and synch with my brain. I actually don’t know where this post leads to. I just feel like writing with no sense. I want to find the flame again. (Another sigh!)

I know I am digressing. Sorry. Please stop reading now. I don’t want you to feel disappointed by realizing that you’ve read this far and yet you don’t find anything sensible. (One more sigh!)

Oh!? So you want me to continue writing. I noticed that you’re still reading ’til here. I don’t know what to feel. Should I be happy because you heeded or should I be sad because I know you’ll hit that unfollow button after this? Oh boy! Please stop before you change your mind.

Does that sound annoying? Yeah, I felt it annoying. I want to stop writing now but  my fingers…they keep pressing the keys. And my brain…the words are exploding but I don’t know what are they.

Oh, I apologize for taking you here. I guess I get it. I am writing, finally writing. Gotta pull myself together and stop this. I don’t want to waste your time anymore. Don’t you see? You’re reading until here but you don’t get what I am really trying to imply. I don’t get it, too.

Forgive me. Check the time and see that you just wasted your two minutes reading this. (One more sigh!) You want to click that unfollow button? Can I stop you? Nah, I won’t do that. It’s my fault, I know.

(Bump my head and came back to my senses!!! Urgh! It hurts, you know.)

😀 Did you actually read this? Until here? Wow!

Now, leave me a word so i can THANK YOU. :*

 

 

Side by Side 2016 Chronology In a Poem

Side by Side 2016

As the year unfolds,

I reviewed the stories I told.

I realized, 2016 had been a wonderful year,

full of wonderful blessings and laughter.

Engagement

First is the engagement,

we asked the blessing from our parents.

Our heart was filled with happiness,

in our life there is no more emptiness.

Canyoneering

Our journey to the big day started,

but the adventure together never ended.

We chased canyons and jumped waterfalls,

inside us, we were also slowly breaking the walls.

Camotes Island

Off to another island we go,

the thing we’ve always want to do.

Witnessed the beautiful sunset,

 as our heart synchronize in beat.

Osmena Peak

Together we climbed the highest peak,

Reaching the summit was a fulfillment to seek.

Though the mountain was very high,

we hold hands as we try to reach the sky.

Happy Birthday, Side by Side!

Until Side by Side celebrated its anniversary,

Finally reached its first birthday.

With this, I felt very successful.

This milestone is just so wonderful.

Our Wedding Day

And the day we’ve been waiting for came,

I succeeded stealing his last name.

Oh, you know how my heart was filled with glee,

Marrying my bestfriend was the best thing that had happened to me.

Durano Eco Farm

Our journey didn’t stop there,

we still have a lot of adventures to share.

We have springs to visit,

and many mountains to reach.

Mt. Naupa, Naga

2016 has been a great year,

2017 what has in store for us, I wonder.

More adventures and love,

That’s what I pray from the BIG MAN above.

PS. Thank you for your never ending clicks and comments, our dear friends. I hope to still see you this year! Happy New Year!!! 

Love, Ace and Demi.

You Are Human, Let Them Know That.

Sometimes good people make bad choices. But it doesn’t mean they’re bad. It simply means they’re human. 

Growing up surrounded by people who expected a lot from you was never easy. They had high hopes and they believed you will never fail them. But you, you were struggling. You were struggling inside. Yet you acted like you’re fine. You showed them you’re okay. Even in yourself you knew you’re dying.

Why? Because you love them. You love them so much that you didn’t want to disappoint them even if it meant torturing yourself. So you put aside your own happiness and pursued theirs. You tried so hard to make everything looked so perfect to see them happy and satisfied. You avoided screwing up because you knew they wouldn’t like that. You didn’t want to admit that you’re tired. You’re running for them. You walked when you can no longer run. You crawled when you can no longer walk… You did everything, everything for them.

Now, you are tired and weary. Yet, you’re still thinking about them. WAKE UP! Why don’t you look at yourself? Why don’t you love yourself this time? After all, you lived almost your whole life for them. That’s enough!!!

Tell them you are tired. Tell them you had enough. Tell them you want to love yourself this time.

Tell them you have the right to make mistakes and make bad decisions. Tell them you want to screw up some things. Tell them you want to fail sometimes.

Tell them you are HUMAN. You are human!

Stop pretending like you could still run when all you want is to walk and enjoy the journey. It’s okay. It’s okay to go slow, it’s fine to stop, feel the air and hear the birds.

Live your life slowly and freely. Make people happy but don’t make yourself unhappy. You have the wheel of your life.

Take it! Own it! Drive it!

At the end of the day, you’ll realize how it feels to be free. To be human. Because you are! And it’s time to let them know that.

 

Your friend, 

Emz 🙂 

 

Let Go and Start Anew.

Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together. ~Marilyn Monroe

There were things I tend to hold on to even when the world conspired to destroy them. It was because I was afraid of losing them.
There were people whom I refused to let go notwithstanding the pain they brought. It was because I worried that I couldn’t find someone like them?
There were memories I didn’t want to forget despite the tears I shed every time I remember them. It was because I hoped those memories to happen again?

I held on to something hoping I could still work things out. I refused to let go some people because of the fear of not finding somebody like them.

I was AFRAID. I was afraid to face tomorrow because I got used to having them in my life. I thought life would be dark without them.

But then I was wrong.

One day, I woke up with a made up mind. I decided to let go. I decided to take a chance and face the unknown tomorrow. It was hard at first. Then I met few people who are better than the ones I had before. I made memories that are more remarkable and worth remembering than the ones I refused to forget before.

I felt my subconscious jeering at me. I think it’s rebuking me because it took me a while to come to this epiphany.

The thing is, sometimes, we are blinded by the things and the comfort that we have and we fail to see the damage it causes. There are times when we clearly see them but we refuse to believe because we fear the consequences.

Everything has an end. Nothing lasts forever. If you’re hurting, cry, let go and move on. Don’t stop there. Don’t think the world stops just because you’re hurting. I know it’s better said than done. But remember you’re not the only one who have been through that. Trust that something and someone better is coming your way. You need to let go of the things or the people who don’t deserve you and make room for those who do.

I have said this a hundred times and I will not be tired of reminding you this: there are really rainy days, but it may rain for 40 days and 40 nights but it will not rain forever. Some day the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can lay your nest and START AGAIN. 

I hope you’ll find the good in goodbye. And when that time comes, give yourself an applause and say “You made it!”

 

I Overcame Writer’s Block.

September 30,2016

At the moment, I’m sitting at the front porch while looking at the dark Friday night sky. The thick clouds are hidding the moon from me. Not a single star is there, except the moving clouds that would fall to rain anytime now. I feel the cold wind as it touched the exposed parts of my skin. I closed my eyes and gathered my thoughts. I felt my fingers slowly tapping the keys of my computer and I knew I’m ready to write again. 

Ahh, it feels so good. It feels so great to be here again. I miss this blank page. I miss the sound of the keys as I stroke each letter to form a word, then a sentence, then a paragraph. I miss the cursor blinking while waiting for my next tap.  

This writer’s block seriously hit me. I checked my drafts. Four unfinished entries. I’ve checked them almost everyday, trying to think on how to proceed but my mind refused to work. That’s it. I’m just another writer. And I am definitely not exempted in this quandary. 

But look! I’ve gone this far. I have this feeling that this one would not become another unfinished entry to be stored in my drafts. I have this feeling that I’m going to click that publish button. This is good! This is a good sign! 

Another cold breeze blow again. My husband is calling me to get in. I looked at the sky one more time. A star. I see a star. It’s alone, but it’s shining brightly. It looks so proud because it was able to beat the thick clouds covering the rest of the sky. 

I felt like the star. I overcame the writer’s block. I can feel my imaginary friends talking to me again. I wonder where they’ve been. Ahh!! They have so much to tell me for sure. I’ll spare their tales for next time. 

It’s getting late. Another call from hubby and I head inside. 🙂 

Goodnight, dear readers. I’ll be with you again soon. Take care! 

Love, Emz

 

A Letter to Myself Before My Wedding Day.

Dearest self, 

                     Hey! So, you’re getting married next day. I wanted to ask if you’re ready for that but you’re obviously readier than the word ready. 🙂 I’m so happy for you. And if you are excited, I think I’m more than excited. 

                     Who thought it would be Ace? He must be very lucky. See, you’ve been to different places, who thought you’d only find him on a dating site? Oh, I know you’re smiling while remembering that first day when you responded to that ‘hi‘ on Tagged. hahah 😀 I can still feel those butterflies, too. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you still feeling that after two years. After all, you are in love. 

                     Anyway, I trust Ace for you. I know you’ll be in good hands. I’m sure you’re aware that marriage life is not always sunshine…so learn to share each other’s umbrella and surpass the storm together. I can see on his eyes that he will take care of you, and you should take care of him in return. I know you’re a spoiled brat, but I think Ace could handle that. Just not too much, please. 🙂 

                     After your wedding, your individual differences will eventually show up. I hope you’re ready for that. Hold on, and talk about it. Don’t allow him to change you, at the same time, don’t try to change him. Accept his flaws and I’m sure he would do the same. I know how high is your pride, please learn to swallow it when it comes to your life together. You are one, so work as one. 

                      You are not just a wife, but his partner, too. Understand him and be patient. Support his decision because he is your husband. Love his family like he loves yours. Don’t forget to tell him ‘Iloveyou‘ everyday. Don’t get mad when he forgets your anniversary (hmmm), remind him if that happens. 

                       One more thing, don’t worry if you can’t bear a baby…Ace loves you more than that. Don’t think you can’t be a family without an offspring. By the time you say ‘I do!’, you two became a family. Spend your life together. Dedicate your life in lending a hand to those who need most. Be happy and contented with each other. You two are a family.

                        I’m really happy for you, dearie. I pray all the best for both of you. Congratulations! Give my best regards to him. 

 

Love, 

Your beautiful self.

 

P.S Please, love yourself, too. I want to see that same sparkle on your eyes after 50 years. Take care. 

A Story That Moved Me.

Hello, wonderful people! 

My apologies for the hiatus here. I’ve been very busy with some things these days (I’m afraid this would last until next month), that I can’t barely keep up with my blogging schedule. But I’m trying to find time to read your posts, though. 

Anyway, while I’m having this hectic schedule, I want to share something that really moved me. I can’t help but share it here. 🙂 I hope you’ll like it. 

 

A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both hands. Her mom came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile, “My sweetie, could you give your mom one of your two apples?”

The girl looked up and her mom for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.

The mom felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.

Then the little girl handed the one of her bitten apples to her mom and said, “Mommy, here you are. This is the sweeter one. ”

 

 

— See how this simple gesture can move us. 🙂

‘Til next time. Keep safe, everyone!